I feel the season changing.
The subtle smell of new growth. The sun refusing to go easy into the night. The moon less eager to rush into the day. I just had my 47th birthday. I too feel less eager to close my eyes at night. I spent my birthday skiing in powder up to my knees. The day before it was bleak, grey, windy, cold and wet. On my birthday, the sun shined and the powder forced me to just lay back and enjoy. For those of you who don’t ski, it can be effortless if you just relax into it. When I decided to sit back and glide down the slope I began to notice the lakes in the distance, the hawks in the sky, the music in my head.
There are many challenges we as Americans young and old currently face. Most of us spend our days trying to put out one fire after another and then go through the rote tasks before we go back to sleep and do it all again like pre-programmed zombies. I know that it can feel like you are a salmon swimming upstream, trying to get to places that we need to be, but having to face serious challenges along the way. However, this is it. THIS IS IT.
If you have children and have to get them off to school and yourself off to work, take two minutes to watch their faces as they chew their toast with two missing teeth. They are cute. If you have a long drive in traffic, turn off the news and turn on some funny morning guys and laugh or put on pretty music and find something pleasing about the sky. If you’re really lucky you will pass someone picking their nose or arguing with themselves behind the wheel. Who knows maybe you will get a glimpse of a wildly cute dog tonguing the air from the back seat of a sedan. Like Julie Andrews sang, these are a few of my favorite things.
If you have money problems trust that it is temporary and that you will be o.k.. Give yourself three minutes to fret about it and understand that while today is cold and bleak, the seasons are changing. I promise that tomorrow the sun will shine, it inevitably does (even in Seattle). So, just relax and enjoy the glide.
LOVE SUSAN
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In honor of National Memory Week I feel compelled to write about what I have witnessed first-hand. I could sum it up in a one liner, (but I like to write so I won’t)!
The older individuals that I have met don’t remember that they felt anxious or stressed to the point of making themselves sick about the economy or their stock portfolios or the burst real estate bubble. Many can’t remember their children’s names. If they could, I bet that they would kick themselves for the energy they put in that direction instead of pursuing joy.
It is hard to avoid the pain that life can bring, but the next time you worry about how you are going to be able to pay a bill or send your children to college, try to take a moment and recognize that those are just thoughts that you can control by making new thoughts. This is a luxury that people who have a cognitive impairment lack.
So, use your brain wisely and think about good things, because life is good.
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Have you ever heard of a double negative? That is what it is like to have role models that represent everything that you do not want to be and who conduct themselves in a ways that you find inappropriate and offensive.
I call them the anti-models.
It takes a great deal of strength and maturity to find something positive when confronted by these people. To someone who holds onto grudges, I say “thanks for showing me what I do not want to be like.” And I act accordingly. When at the mercy of someone who reacts instead of seeks to understand, I say “thanks for showing me what I would look like if I didn’t take a minute to think before I hit the send button or leave an angry message.” And I act accordingly.
When I have to deal with someone whose emotional quotient is low, whose maturity level stagnated, I say “I will act like an adult because my success in life and business depends on it.” When I am being judged by one who is in no position to judge, I tell myself that “being judgmental is not attractive.” When gossip gets the better of people, I say “I will not republish falsehoods.”
My parents were great anti-role models on many fronts. For years I never understood what a gift they gave me. I complained that I was not given chances, that I was robbed of happiness as a child. While it is all true, and if Iwas not a forgiving, non-grudge bearing person, I might have let those technicalities ruin my life. But, as an adult, I recognize their anti-role model value, and am a better mother and spouse because of their conduct.
So as we get older let others be our teachers, even if their messages are repugnant because role models come in all forms..
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Susan interviews Gordon, a 63 year old man who is passionate about health, nutrition, a positive mental attitude and weight lifting.
A positive attitude enhances our immune system and can turn a challenge into a positive experience
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I just finished my new book, “The 7 Triggers of Mental Health Decline in the Elderly and How to Disarm Them Forever.” In the course of writing, I had many opportunities to reflect upon my own feelings and heed my own advice. But I must admit that I am a hypocrite (and apparently a poet as well).
In particular, the notion of what we choose to pay attention to has challenged me a lot. Lost in the discussion of what can trigger a decline in mental health is nostalgic reminiscence. For me, that practice does not work as I inevitably experience a feeling of loss and the palpable sensation of emptiness.
For example, when I think about my college years, arguably one of the best periods of my life, I feel like I have lost something that I cannot regain, like a broken branch of a tree. When I think about how much my children have grown, I feel like I have lost an opportunity to get parenting exactly right. When I think about my deceased mother, I think about how I lost a chance to get being a child and sibling right. When I think about my father, I think about how I am losing a trusted confidant as I take on more responsibility for his well being.
I give a lot of power to the notion of being in a state of “loss” and a lot of lip service to being in a state of “possibility.” The former causes pain and longing, the latter, I am sure, will create a sense of excitement. Deciding to alter the way we perceive things is like exercising a new muscle; it is a conscious effort that takes energy. The pay off for changing this process will be better mental health.
So I make this pledge:
Starting today I am going to concentrate on the delightful future that is in store for me. I will adhere to the cliché that the present is a gift. I will go on a thought process diet and only digest words of wisdom that inspire me to do great things and find beauty in my reflection. How about you? Are you ready to change?
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Episode #017 – Laurel reflects on the Beatles tune, “When I’m 64″ and talks about how she tore up her AARP card when she first received it.
To see the complete Laurel series, click here.
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Episode #015 – Gordon found a new side to himself when he was thrust into retirement from an industry that he loved. Gordon shares his volunteer efforts at the Braille Institute and the Getty Center Museum.
To see the complete Gordon and Ginny series, click here.
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Episode #014 – One look at this 85 year old man and you will want to take up gardening too. He is physically fit and looks like he is in his 60’s.
To see the complete Gordon and Ginny series, click here.
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Episode #013 – Ginny keeps a busy social calendar and in so doing thwarts Alzheimer’s Disease, the only ailment she truly fears.
To see the complete Gordon and Ginny series, click here.
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Episode #012 – Ginny uses trends in hair as a metaphor about life. “If you fail to keep up with the times, time will pass you by.” she says. Whose hair style do you think Ginny likes the best? Dorothy Hamil, Farrah Faucet or Jennifer Aniston?
To see the complete Gordon and Ginny series, click here.
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Episode #011 – Ginny could write a book about all of the stars she has worked with, but won’t because she is a lady.
To see the complete Gordon and Ginny series, click here.
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Episode #010 – Ginny has always been independent. She was forced to raise three children on her own at a time when that was not the norm. She was a women’s libber before that term was in vogue.
To see the complete Gordon and Ginny series, click here.
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Episode #009 – Does keeping busy and having purpose keep you young? After viewing this segment, you should have no doubt!
To see the complete Gordon and Ginny series, click here.
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Episode #006/007 – Susan visits an assisted living facility in Beverly Hills, CA to see the Westside Choral Group. The Westside Choral Group is seniors entertaining seniors and so much more.
Part (1/2)
Part (2/2)
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Episode#003 – Professor Rose talks about how some female neighbors have manipulated his stepfather into parting with assets and how he fell victim to a late night television land sales scheme.
For the complete Mike Rose Series, click here.
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Episode #004 – It is useful in gaining an understanding of how the loss of a loved one can result in social isolation and depression.
For the complete Mike Rose Series, click here.
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