How do you do it? What do you say? What are the consequences of not stripping them of this last vestige of independence?
I will now answer the latter of those questions; the former will be addressed in my second newsletter which, when done reading this infinitely interesting blog, you can click on!
Last week I met with a family to discuss how to care for their 87 year old father and husband, a former charismatic public relations guy. He was slipping away slowly, but nonetheless, slipping away.
Although the doctor told him that he could no longer drive, he said that he did not hear that. He wore hearing aides in both ears. So, to clarify I asked him what he meant by the word “hear.” Did he not literally hear him or was he going to a happy place when his doctor was uttering those life altering words?
The next day he got into a fight with the taxi cab driver, found the keys to the car and drive from Santa Monica to an imaginary appointment in downtown Los Angeles. What was going through his head as he plowed into a one parked car after another?
The answer is nothing. There was nothing going through his head. The classical music provided a background to the delusional, life threatening excursion. All I got from him was the relief he felt at not having a memory of anything and that he was glad because it would have been very scary.
There was no connection with his conduct and the real possibility that many innocent people could have been killed. We don’t have to worry about him driving again. The LAPD who surrounded him when his vehicle finally came to a halt took away his license and Buck’s Towing took away his totaled vehicle forever from his reach.
